Barbara Sher

Career Counselor, Best Selling Author, Speaker, Pioneer

Wishcraft: a seminal book

Let me say first, that I have been a fan of Barbara Sher since reading her first best-seller, Wishcraft, thirty years ago. Instead of the many idealistic tomes that encourage us to go after our dreams without regard for our financial responsibilities…to risk it all to gain success, Barbara has a down-to-earth, pragmatic, common sense approach to both finding and getting what you really want. She was the pioneer of the career and life coaching movements.

In these hard times, can we still have what we want?

When I spoke with Barbara, I expressed my concern that not only were women at 50 and over grappling with all the challenges presented at mid-life, but now in the grip of the current economic crisis as well! Can we still have what we really want? Will women give up their personal quest in frustration? Are the dictates that we “follow our passion” no longer valid? She says “yes, under two conditions:

1. You give up mistaken ideas of what it takes to get what you really want.
2. You understand and know how to deal with fear.”

Why would we want to listen to Barbara?

Not just because she has authored seven books, not just because she has spoken to literally tens of thousands of women worldwide, hosted five public television pledge specials, appeared on top shows like Oprah, the Today Show, 60 Minutes and Good Morning America (among others) nor because she’s been featured most women’s magazines, in addition to the New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today and more, had a column in Real Simple Magazine, etc. You want to listen to Barbara because she shares sound and practical information and resources that will get you to where you want to go, in ways you may never have expected. And, because she has “been there, done that!”

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Barbara Sher, I’ll give you a short synopsis of the back story…long story, short. In her own words from an excerpt from Wishcraft,

“I landed in New York City eleven years ago (1968) with two small children to support and a B.A. in anthropology. (I hope you’re chuckling, because it means you know exactly what that’s worth.) We had to go on welfare until I found a job.”

With no financial support at all, in an ironic twist, she not only had to go on welfare but she ended up working in the welfare office! At least, that is, during the day. At night she worked for a prominent psychiatrist assisting him with his group sessions. Early on, he noted her special talent for insight, creative solutions, and motivation. She had a special ability to understand what was really going on with people regardless of what they told her. He trained her personally and before long she was leading his groups and had found her own passion, her life’s work. Bear in mind that she continued to work two jobs!

How she found her passion/work

She tells a very funny story (that I will have to abbreviate here) about one of her groups and a sad-sack of a guy named Ronnie. It sounds cruel, but in the end he won so stay with me here. He was unattractive, negative and hostile and was in the group because it was formed to help people get in touch with their angry feelings (he didn’t mind at all). However he couldn’t identify a “feeling” to save his life and didn’t usually try. When he finally complained, “I hate my apartment,” the women in the group scoured Manhattan with him until he found a better one. That was so successful that he came to group and declared, “Now I want a girlfriend.” Well, the women looked at each other in dismay, but took on the challenge and decided to have a party at Ronnie’s new apartment and invite lots of women. No lonely woman was safe from this crew…if a woman was crying at a bus stop, she received an invitation. If she was sitting alone in a café, you guessed it, she got an invitation. In the end the party was a great success and against all odds Ronnie found a girlfriend. 

The curious thing was that while the rest of the group was absorbed in “fixing Ronnie,” they actually got less negative themselves, forgot about their own problems and became a positive, can do team! Barbara’s first Success Team, and her new business, was born. The idea behind the Success Teams is to help each member figure out what she really wants and help her get it! It’s peer support on steroids. There is structure, problem solving and a commitment from every member of the team to take a step each week until they reach their goals.

Let your friends help you

To get her Success Teams out to the world, Barbara designed a 12-hour workshop and she and her team made up and pasted flyers all over the city. She also told everyone she knew about the workshops and asked them to find everyone they knew that wrote for women’s magazines. As a result of her own personal Success Team’s work on her behalf, she started to be covered in all the top women’s magazines of the day (McCalls, Redbook, Ms. Magazine, etc.)

The day she appeared in The New York Times, five agents called and told her to write a book. Although she had written since childhood, she never imagined herself a writer, so this came as quite a surprise. She said, “OK,” set up her red, IBM Selectric typewriter (remember those?) and with her kids bouncing off the walls, dog barking and dishes waiting in the sink, she got to work.

Be authentically YOU

She presented 400 pages to one of the agents and when they called her back with feedback, they said “We don’t like this. This isn’t how you talk.” She had written the manuscript in the way she thought a book ought to be written. What the agent wanted was to see Barbara’s voice on the page. The result?  Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want. That was 30 years and a million readers ago and this book is as valuable and pertinent today, in our current economic climate, than it was then.

Looking for your next, best life? Speed up the process

Anyone who is searching for their next, best life can speed up the process by reading Barbara Sher’s books! But, you need to do a bit more than that. Barbara always says, “It is NOT your attitude, but Isolation that is the dream killer! You cannot make it on your own. You need a team of supportive people that actually are helping you to achieve your dream. They will MAKE you do what you want to do. ”

How can I make money?

The first question Barbara is generally asked is “If I go after my dream, how can I make any money at it?” She believes that doing what you love is not an option; we depend on each other’s gifts and mustn’t withhold them. Nothing is more selfish than not doing what you love and nothing can adversely affect your health faster. When you are doing what you love, it stops depression and it supports your immune system. “Joy is a vitamin,” she says. It doesn’t mean that you have to do what you love for a living or full time. You can change your life by doing what you love even if it’s only for 4 minutes a day! Try it and watch your life light up.

Visit Barbara at www.BarbaraSher.com, or www.BarbaraSherWishcraft.com

Join one of Barbara’s Success Teams:

Our own 50+Fabulous Life/Career Expert and certified professional coach, Susan Whipple, has been personally certified by Barbara and has been leading Success Teams since 2003. Registration is now open. To participate in one of Susan's upcoming San Francisco Bay Area Success Teams. Go to http://www.susanwhipple.com/success_team.html or email Susan at (JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)