At a recent meeting with a mentor, the first thing she told me to do is RELAX.
Relax? It sounds good…very good, but how? We all have so many things competing for our time, how in the world do you find time to RELAX? Giving up on doing everything perfectly gives you the opportunity (and the energy) to focus on the things that really matter.
John F Eliot, Ph.D., author of Overachievement: The New Science of Working Less to Accomplish More, has this to say about perfectionism…“Perfectionism is simply putting a limit on your future. When you have an idea of perfect in your mind, you open the door to constantly comparing what you have now with what you want. That type of self criticism is significantly deterring. The idea of perfect closes your mind to new standards. When you drive hard toward one ideal, you miss opportunities and paths, not to mention hurting your confidence. Believe in your potential and then go out and explore it; don’t limit it.”
Author Anna Quindlen says, “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence.
~Rosalynn Carter
How many of us race around trying to please each and every person in our lives? Sometimes I just have to laugh at myself. Who’s judging whether the house is clean enough? My grandmother, that’s who! Even though she has been gone for 40 years! She believed that cleanliness was next to Godliness and she had the white glove to prove it!
But, these days I say “SO WHAT” a lot. So what if the stovetop has a spot (hint: never buy black appliances). So what if the windows are smudged, the garage is a mess, the bushes are a little overgrown and the mailbox is dusty? Wouldn’t I rather be talking with interesting people, learning new things, pushing my limits? “Yes, grandma I would!” And, if she were alive today she’d be the first one to agree!
We have a lot more opportunities than many of our mothers and grandmothers had. But if we squander our energy by trying to be perfect in all things, we can’t possibly have enough leftover to do the things that really matter to us and to go after those dreams that might have been pushed aside before we found out that “perfect” is a perfectly nuts goal!
So, excuse me while I go and RELAX with my kitty! She never worries about being perfect and she lives rent free, food appears magically and she doesn’t have to clean up after herself…hmmm. I’m coming back as my cat!
