Dating is a means to marriage, right? Not for many women over 50! Freed from the constraints of raising children, building careers and expanding wealth, we are free to choose the form a relationship takes, or whether we want to be in one at all.

At this point in life, many women are financially independent. They may not want to compromise with anyone regarding day-to-day decisions. Some fear losing their hard-won identity to a strong-minded man. Quite a few enjoy the privileges of living alone—they revel in being in control of their own schedule and décor. Others worry about how a potential mate’s deteriorating health might impact them.

Still, most enjoy romantic companionship. Midlife women tend to fall into one of these relationship styles: The Traditionalist, the Romanticist, and the Companionalist.

The Companionalist befriends several men who she can call on as escorts whenever she chooses. Whether she is going to the movies, a concert or simply wants a dinner companion, she is never short for male company. Because she has no intention of having a romantic relationship with anyone, she doesn’t care what kind of mate a man would make. She is able to delight in the friendship of men who are commitment phobic, or have other flaws that would make them undesirable long-term partners.

The Romanticist delights in being in a close committed romantic relationship with a man, but has no intentions of ever merging households. She may see her beloved almost daily, or only on weekends and holidays. She might choose to involve him with her family, but her boundaries are clear. They enjoy couple activities together, rather than time spent working side-by-side paying bills or working on the house. Obligations are optional. She savors her ability to pursue her own interests.

The Traditionalist wants the ring, as well as the emotional, and possibly financial commitment of marriage or a long term living together arrangement. She is willing to “go all the way” to commit to living the rest of her life with someone who will be her partner through thick and thin. She would be wise to sign a pre-nup before she marries, so that her children are still able to inherit her property upon her death. Since fewer marriages of fifty-plus people end in divorce, these unions tend to be very stable.

Whatever your style, the more clear you are about what you honestly want, the more you are likely to find true satisfaction in your love life.