In writing my monthly columns, I seek out “in the flesh” mid- life women and ask them to give me the real scoop on my topic of the month. My coaching practice puts me intimately in touch with real life stories, much more credible than any research I might do and far more interesting. My local café is a gold mine of creativity.

I am fortunate to find some well known writers, television personalities, and fascinating, accomplished mid- life women, from all walks of life, at my local café. Each month at article writing time, I plunk myself down in the café and see who I may meet to provide “fodder” for my column.

This month, I ordered my delicious single non-fat latte, opened my laptop and waited to see who would appear. It was not long before Sally and I connected. Sally is an attractive long-haired brunette, with a big welcoming smile. She was wearing the most amazing outfit: all black with a double buckled black leather belt, gorgeous necklace and fabulous black shrug-the creative, artsy, sophisticated look I just love. It turns out she bought her beautiful accessories while in Paris; a trip she took while recovering from a serious injury.

We sat down to talk and I just knew she had a story for this month’s article. So, I asked Sally, how do you move through fear? Sally began by telling me a horrific story of her accident, and her resultant health and life challenges. The amazing thing about Sally is that in spite of overwhelming odds, she still managed to purchase a new house, take a trip to Paris, move to a new community, and start a new company within months of the accident. In the process of healing Sally discovered a healing modality that she credits with her recovery and her new work and is now the picture of health and vitality.

Sally's tips on moving through fear:

1. Don’t live in “Regret Ville”: Or Pity City for that matter. We waste so much precious life energy saying what we could have, should have or would have done and feeling sorry for ourselves. It is more productive and far more fun to have our “travel” plans include “Vision Village” or “Inspiration Alley.” Get on with your life which means often you have to:
2. Drown out the naysayers: Sally found that people would often give her doom and gloom scenarios and sometimes misguided advice for her future. I commented that those closest to us may be thrown off balance by our big dreams, as they see that their lives may be impacted and they project their own fears onto our dreams. We learn we have to:
3. Find our mentors: Seek out the people who have walked similar paths successfully and are willing to generously share and model for us how to:
4. Talk with confidence about our future: While recovering from the accident Sally began each morning by paying attention to her talk. If she caught herself with negative talk, she just yelled “stop” which serves to:
5. Starve out our fear: When we provide no “food” i.e. the poor nutrition of our own negative talk, the fears of the naysayers, the drain of living in regrets and pity, and our fears begin to starve and wither away. We now have the energy and vitality to above all:
6. Feed our passion: Imagine “living in what you will create” Sally advises. I love the metaphor of “inhabitating” our visions like the beautiful bayside home Sally has created. Get up to “something big” and you will, as the lyrics from the rap song "Starve Your Fear: Feed Your Life" remind us:

Starve your fear, feed your life
You'll find that you might
Be completely different all together
And then you'll decide which one you like better