For centuries women have lived with the mythology of being rescued. This mythology has been part of our genetic coding and embedded in our psyches. As little girls we read stories about Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. We played out these fantasies with our Barbie and Ken dolls. Generations of women fell under a spell. We believed that a prince on a white horse would take us away to a dreamy castle in the woods where we would live happily forever and ever. And, while we spent countless hours planning family vacations, baby showers, school activities and science projects for our children, our prince would support us financially.
A recent TV commercial validates this point. Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York is reading a bedtime story to a little girl. Someday, she says dreamily, your knight will come on a great white stallion…and he will whisk you away to a beautiful castle, and he will marry you and give you everything your heart desires, forever and ever. Of course, if it doesn’t work out, she adds briskly, you’ll need to understand the difference between a P/E ratio and a dividend yield.
Such was the case with Joan, a mature woman 58 years of age. Her husband died unexpectedly 5 years ago. He had told her for the past 15 years of his life, Don’t worry, we are doing well financially and everything is taken care of. When he died she found out they had over $100,000 in credit card debt and he had allowed his life insurance to lapse. Her tears were laced with anger at both him and herself for trusting to the point of blindness.
In Carly Fiorina’s new book, Tough Choices A Memoir, she speaks about her relationship with finances in her first marriage to then husband, Todd. She tells us she paid no attention to money matters, she left it all up to him. When their marriage broke up she was shocked at the state of their financial situation. The blinders came off, the spell was broken, and Carly committed to herself that she would never again be hands-off when it came to finances.
In order to gain power over our finances, we must first acknowledge what we do not know. This can be extremely frightening as we may be entering a world and a language foreign to us. Shame, embarrassment, inadequacy and fear can overwhelm us. Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. Begin with baby steps.
One by one, boomer women are embracing the passage into financial power, power that generations before have not owned! We are the first generation of women in centuries to break the spell, and to lift the veil of innocence, silence and secrecy about money.
By reclaiming our financial power, we not only bring confidence and competency into our own lives. But, we can also leave our children a legacy of financial literacy that we may not have been the recipients of ourselves. We can be role models and mentors, helping younger women to step into their financial power too.
My wish is that you, the reader, are a financially savvy woman already or on your way to becoming one. Every day create time (because you are worth it) to learn one new thing about money. Dare to ask questions! Tell your husband you want to be an equal partner in your financial relationship. Know your net worth. Earn your worth. Save for your later years. Manage your monthly expenses. Eliminate any credit card debt you have. Invest well. Understand the difference between a P/E ratio and a dividend yield! Google it!
Women are the most resourceful people I know. We can figure out all the solutions to our children’s and loved ones’ lives…how about applying that same skill set to our own lives? Let’s show up for ourselves financially! May your journey lead to prosperity!
