I love this month’s theme, “Falling for Yourself!” This is every woman’s challenge, loving ourselves well, so we can give our best to others. This theme can be applied to a woman’s money life too. Here’s how.

Cut the Financial Umbilical Cord

Recently, I have had more calls than ordinary from women with adult children, who are requesting money from the Bank of Mom and Dad.  I hear, “My son asked for another $2000 this month to pay the bills. He says he and his wife are over extended on credit cards. Last month they bought a new plasma TV. They shop at Whole Foods. It’s not that I mind giving them money, but they don’t respect money like I do.”

Many parents can’t afford to give money to their adult children, but do so anyway. Maybe because that’s been part of their role as a parent and the dynamic they’ve created with their adult children. When parents give in this way, even if they can afford it, it sets up an “enabling” dynamic with their adult children. They are in some way “rescuing” their adult children from the consequences of their own financial behavior. Over time, this can lead to resentment and a feeling of being taken advantage of.

So, it’s really the parent’s job to draw the financial boundary and say “no more ”. Some parents will pay for my financial coaching services in order to help their adult children learn self sufficiency skills and how to better manage their money.

Setting financial boundaries with your children is a way to love yourself and them equally. At some point, your adult children may thank you for the role model you were. By honoring your values, you stay in financial integrity and leave your children a legacy that’s priceless…self sufficiency!

Your Retirement Needs Trump Your Children’s College Education

Before you fund your adult children or grandchildren’s college education, fully fund your retirement and investment account first. Make sure you have enough money to last you until the end of your days. This is a way to love yourself as well as your grand children.

Your kids have age on their side and you don’t. They can take out an education loan and pay it back over time. In thinking forward, if you don’t take care of your financial future first, you may need to ask your children or grandchildren to help take care of you as you age. This is a nightmare thought for most women. We worry about being a burden to our children.

As we age, we move through many losses. The more self sufficient we can be with our money, the more choices we create for ourselves and the less we need to rely on our children.

Further, if you do have money left over at your death, you can then gift your family with money, since you will no longer need it!

Know What Kind of Fuel Fills Up Your Tank

When I’m running on a full tank, I feel generous and I see the world from a positive perspective. When I’m running on fumes, I can be cranky and a negative view of life creeps in like the morning fog.

Knowing what keeps your tank full is important to your money life. First of all, you spend less money when you are fulfilled at your core. Secondly, you will be more observant of the abundance in your life when you are running on full.  And, when you are operating on a full tank, you attract and manifest much more quickly the desires and dreams you have for your life.

Here’s to keeping your tank full!