Dear Dr.  Betty,

My son, Tim, is graduating from high school in June and wants to take a year off to travel to Africa before attending the college of his choice.  He wants to defer enrollment from the school that has already accepted him.  His sister went to college directly from high school.  She changed schools and majors several times before finally obtaining her B.A.  Tim is not sure of his major and feels confused and exhausted from the last two years of high school, He feels he needs a break to figure out his next step in life.  I am concerned he will lose his momentum and may become distracted from obtaining a college degree.  My husband believes a year off will help Tim mature. I would like to get your opinion on Tim’s plan. 

Fearful Mom in Florida.

Dear Florida Mom,

Your son sounds like a practical person who may have learned from his sister’s experience.  In my private psychotherapy practice, I talk more frequently, to young adults who tell me that they are burned out from the academic pressures of getting into and staying in college.  Many feel that they haven’t had an opportunity to find out what they really want out of life because they have focused so much on pleasing parents, teachers and administrators on their way to and through college.

Some colleges are accepting student’s wishes to defer enrollment and a few are even promoting the idea. These days, only 50% of students finish college in four years. Parents and college consultants now recognize the importance of students being fully engaged and eager to learn. A year in between high school and college can offer students an opportunity to become truly independent and have a taste of life outside of an academic institution. In our increasingly globally connected world, it serves us all well when we travel and meet people of different values and cultures. 

I hope you and your son enjoy his year of travel.

Dr. Betty